The Touching Truth

I recently went to see the movie “Precious” produced by Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry and along with 5 other co-producers. This extremely powerful film was based on the novel titled “Push” By Author Sapphire. Its opening weekend was featured in just a handful of theaters in several states and because of its phenomenal cast was sold out making this film a huge success. I viewed the films trailer like many, however reframed from reading the synopsis so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I sat in the theater as the movie began and it wasn’t long before it started that I knew this was going to be a movie that touched home way too close.

I wasn’t prepared for how this movie would really affect the wounds that’s yet to heal. The main character was abused by her mother and father sexual, emotionally, verbally, and physically. These scenes were often graphic and touching to my heart. Although there’s not an exact comparison to the story line and myself there were so many innuendos that were alike. I sat there in complete amazement with tears streaming down my face trying to keep my composure. Many times I contemplated leaving the theater thinking it was just too much for me to handle. I started to visualize all the acts done wrong upon me. Some of these glimpses I haven’t thought about in years. Maybe I was hoping I suppressed them so far back I would never remember them. I would soon learn that this movie would be an “emotional trigger” I'd soon have to face.

I never had bad images of my mother during my adolescent years. Memories of her were always nice, caring and gentle. She was up in the morning to fix me a warm breakfast and after school there was always a hot meal. With time that changed, years of being with an emotionally abusive alcoholic, which I had grown to call daddy had begun to wear on her spirit. In the years to come she would become a victim of alcohol herself. Though there is no direct resemblance of my mom and the character’s mother, I can remember times in the movie where they were quit similar.

Alcoholics are unpredictable in character and often display rage, emotional and verbal abuse. That disease would test my limits in my teenage years and bring confrontation, fear, self doubt and resentment. I managed coping skills for survival during her bingeing times. Aside from the drinking my mom had no flaws. When alcohol was out of the picture she meant the world to me and when she was drinking I just wanted to disappear.

The man that I would call my “Dad” would be just one of my predators throughout my life. He raised me from the ages of 2-13 year old. My step-father would introduce me to my first sexual experiences at a very young age. I never knew exactly when it first started however, my first images were when I was about 4-5 years old but I can almost guarantee it started way before then. The secrets between he and I would stay bonded until he left the household when I was 13. I recall frequent visits in the middle of the night, hiding spots created by him so he could fondle me or play times that weren’t so playful.

He was always careful so that he wouldn’t be exposed of his horrific crimes upon a child. I remained silent to protect my mom, my family and the father I had grown to love. After many years of being preyed on, you began to believe that these things are supposed to happen. After all, he’s daddy and he could never do anything to hurt you. I had countless interactions with my dad and with my growing age the demands began to get more pressured but I stayed true to being his obedient little girl. What little girl wants to disappoint their father?

Throughout my lifetime I would have three molesters by the age of ten and raped by the age of 16. Honestly, I believe the predator number was higher than that. I’ve blocked so many memories in order to move on and forget something’s are just a blur. Sometimes I think back and realize how used I felt as a child or how insignificant I felt as a teen. It always seemed as if someone wanted to touch the very sacred parts of me. Over time it became natural to give people what they wanted. My years as a teen and into adulthood I would waste my body trying to get love through acts of sex. I guess that was learned behavior.

It has taken me a great deal of courage to tell my story in hopes of helping others so that some child can realize that their not alone. I have overcome a lot of obstacles in my life. I defied teenage pregnancy, drugs and many other statistics that often face victims. I stay strong and keep my faith that God has a plan to use me as a motivating vessel. To this day I’m still consumed with depression but I’m no longer shameful of the acts done upon me.

Nonetheless, I left the theater feeling re-haunted by life’s images and even more passionate about the importance of sharing my story. I was molested, raped, lived in a chemically dependent household, and often verbally and emotionally abused. I am a survivor of many things but I am a victim no more.

I Am One

I don’t sit alone in this cold lonely world
There are many touched just like me
We all face the same fate
Of recovery from self hate
And shame that they dealt
Upon the little one’s they felt

I Am One
Healing the wounds would hurt just as much
To forget the images of his touch
Locking the door would not keep me safe
But saying my prayers would keep me a saint

I Am One
The images won’t leave and haunts me by eve
Will anyone help this little child please
God has me near so I’ll trust in his sight
To get me through another day’s night
Cause I’m trapped in fear and the memories are still near

I Am One
The step-daddies I fear
Even though I’m his sweet dear
So keep me safe and clear
So I won’t be touched again down near

I Am One
There are plenty just like me
And silent they shall be
Sheltering the pain that was caused
From the innocence that was lost

I …Am… One…

By: LaSha Overstreet-Anderson

Hiding No More.....

I've struggled for many years trying to finish my book. My college years brought pain, confusion and a complete misunderstanding of myself. So in order to confront my underlining issues I began to put pin to paper in hopes of providing self therapy. What I drafted was a real life tail of my battles of depression, years of molestation, teenage promiscuity and issues with having alcoholic parents. I wrote my pages so well I began to think, am I being too real? What will others think about my truthfulness? Will anyone get offended? How will people view me? I now understand that those were feelings of doubt and most


likely the devil blocking my determination to be a motivating vessel in the world. So I decided to transform what I wrote into a novel form. That way I could hide within the characters and not expose the vulnerable, shameful and crippling side of me. Isn't it easier to hide behind something than to be the real you? Kind of like having an alter ego and blaming everything that goes wrong on that character. Well my alter ego was built on self destruction. Understanding that my circumstances were not my fault would take years for me to realize. Most victims think they asked for the punishment and it just isn't so.

I noticed I struggled more with my autobiography turned novel more than I did with the original manuscript. So years have passed and sporadically I’d given time and energy in my goal but couldn't understand why this was such a struggle for me. And within recent weeks I’ve discovered the stalling is from not being true to myself and the others I wish to help. I've taken away the real essence of my book with a focus to share real life experiences no matter how graphic they are, they happened to me and happening to others all over the world.

It's like God has truly spoken to me, taking away my fear and doubts. I no longer have to hide behind my made up characters. He's giving me courage to be a motivating force to all kinds of people. We hinder ourselves from our own progression in life. Today I’m knowing my worth, challenging my fear and stepping out of my comfort zone. The best lesson I’ve learned is, I no longer have to hide and because of that, I’m free. It's amazing what the mind can do when it's open and receptive to God's message.

Please stay tuned to my upcoming book:
"Buffering the Pain: Life as a Touched Child"

By: LaSha Dawson-Anderson

We Are Lost Innocence

I came across this video and it touched me in the most profound way. Our children are being lost in a society that no longer cares about their future. It's hard for me to understand how a minor can be convicted for life. Not negating the fact that they did the crime and I definitely agree they should face charges however, to lock a juvenile up for life is just beyond my comprehension. Children across America are affected by poverty, physical and/or sexual abuse, living in a household with alcoholics or other chemical dependences. What is the likelihood of them having an ample chance at a successful life? The sad truth is, a large percentage will also become a victim of statistics.

This young girl raised in poverty surrounded by gang members, drug dealers and living with people that didn't care enough about her future to give a damn. Now she faces life without the possibility of parole. Chosen, selected and wooed by the man that would change her life forever, she thought finally someone cares for me. Buying her things, showing her the love that her family never showed and having the feeling that she was going to be safe. All the while manipulating her mind so he could expose her body for sale. She became a prostitute at the young age of 13. Working the streets from sun up to sun down. Trying to please a man that would always want more. Living among a harem of other prostitutes she learned tricks to save her life and endure endless nights in the lifestyle. Her circumstances chose her and she would soon learn getting out was not an option, running would mean her life and killing would be a life sentence.

As a victim of molestation and being raised with an alcoholic parent I can definitely understand the state of mind of some of these teens. Though I loved my mom dearly there were many issues, some things people will never know and my daily coping skills were tested on a regular basis. I found love outside my household that was damaging to my emotional health. I had depression early in my teen years and looked for anyone that could fill that void. I could have easily been this victim and now statistic. Though I had a wonderful distant family structure it wasn't enough and I would push my limits physically and mentally. With low self esteem I began to hide from the family I loved the most. Maybe it was shame or fear but I began to lose myself and fast.

The path to lost innocence can happen so quickly especially when there's a break down in family structures or unhealthy living environments. We can't give up on our youth and parent's have to be held accountable for these minor's. I survived the statistics of teenage pregnancy, alcoholism, and drug addiction however; low self-esteem, sexual promiscuity, and depression found me all the same. Where would I be if no one cared about my future? What would have happened if I wasn't exposed to culture, the importance of education or the possibilities how having a successful life? I agree, these adversities help mold me into the individual that I am today but they definitely sealed my fate to a lifetime of trying to overcome life obstacles.

We must show our kids that we love them and we care. The security that they don't have at home, they will find on the streets. Laws need to be changed so we can reform these kids and not lock them up and throw away the key. Is that really the answer that we have for our troubled youth? Some say most of these kids are calculated criminals but how about we start taking control in the beginning instead of in the end. Where are the parents and why aren't they being charged with neglect. We have a responsibility to our children to raise them with the best possible outcome for success. They don't ask to be here and they don't choose their home circumstances so who's fault is it when these events happen. We need to take time out and think about the lost innocence of our children. Don't let your child end up like Sarah Kruzan.

I Am The Chosen Child of God....

I woke up today smiling as my head surrounded all the positive things in my life. In this economic downfall people have started to question the faith that they have in their father. Many of us face challenges in life and unfortunately some more than others. It is important that you remember bad things don't happen because God doesn't love you. We were all put here with equal fate and we have to be determined to believe that you deserve all the blessings that he has laid in your path.

All of us have made a decision that we regret but you can't focus on the negative situations in life. I say, it CAN always be worse than what you think it is. When we align our positive energy in ourselves you will be amazed at the power of blessings that comes forward. A better path to life is an equal share among all of us; you just have to envision it. Sometimes people say; why do things keep going wrong in my life? What they should be saying is; what am I doing for these events to keep happening? When you’re off track in the physical world your spiritual world will be off centered as well. That's when you have to focus on changes within yourself. Some of those changes may be; eliminating the negative people in your life, ending that long term relationship that's going nowhere or holding yourself accountable for your actions and no one else.

It is imperative that we make a life plan and follow it through. When you open your mind, body and spirit to the possibilities of living free while keeping your faith in God as a direction to total salvation; then your life will flood with the blessings he has in store for you. There is no doubt or question that anything you envision can be captured. You have to know that you are his chosen child. Don't just have faith and don't just have hope; you have to feel it in the fiber of your bones and you have to walk as his faithful soldier.

Transitioning your mind is easier than you think. Following through will be your task. Your following through process will be blocked and tested from all levels and angles because the devil is a discourager of determination. Yes, your mind will challenge the plan you have in store to become a better individual and you will many times question if you’re making the right decision. That is the time you will need to have faith in order to get you over that hump.

If you want something bad enough nothing can keep you from succeeding. Adversities in life will happen but these can't be used as excuses. What doesn't harm you physically holds no weight in your life, LET IT GO! What you can't change today shouldn't be your worry. The only things you can change are your actions to life's reactions. With that view your dreams can come true. You want that promotion; empower your mind and set it forth. You want a new house; make a plan and position your mind. You want a mate; align yourself first then love will follow. You want that degree; Envision it and it shall be yours.

Changing your life's purpose takes some work on your part as well. You shall ask and he will definitely deliver but God also wants to know how hard your willing to work to obtain the blessings he has in store for you. He needs to see that you’re no longer making childish mistakes over and over again. He knows your worthy because you’re his chosen child but you have to open your eyes, heart, mind and spirit for receiving. There is no doubt, you can achieve. You weren't left in the cold and not blessed, there's no such thing but when we empower our bodies by his word then anything is possible. Believing starts within. I can't take you there, your mom can't take you there, your husband can't take you there but when we have faith in our father that's so great in our lives, you have purpose to follow a deserving path. If you listen to him, he will guide you. He will guide you so well you will be amazed at your own accomplishments. Be chosen to be blessed, surrender your fear, abandon your doubts, cut the strings of the troubled past and capture your future. After all, YOUR HIS CHOSEN CHILD.

These are the words I speak on a daily basis. It's my fighting shield:

I am amazing. I can do anything I envision. I'm more talented than my hindering fears. I seek faith in you God to guide my way. My being is more than words can express. I ask that you lay your healing hands on me to guide me through darkness and pain. I am more! I am powerful beyond my imagination, I am courageous because my adversities help build me; I am more glorious than any obstacle that stands in my way. My strength allows me to be wife, mother, sister, counselor, writer, motivator and these are just small titles that you have bestowed upon me. But most of all I'm loved because I'm a faithful believer in you and there's a path that guides me every way of your ordered steps. I am so much more. I AM SO.... MUCH...MORE......

By LaSha Overstreet-Anderson

Book Release: Through Pumpkin's Eyes by Telmeko Ransom-Smith

Through Pumpkin's Eyes is an inspirational tale of a little lamb named Pumpkin Spice. Pumpkin Spice has had to face the world with many challenges. You see, Pumpkin Spice has Cerebral Palsy and she lives her life on a ventilator. Yet, she never lets anything stop her. Take an exciting adventure with Pumpkin as she shows you that it's a wonderful life.

About the Author
The author of this inspirational book about a little lamb named Pumpkin Spice is not just writing a fun tale but telling the story of her life. A loving wife, devoted mother, gifted educator, and tireless advocate for children with disabilities, Telmeko Ransom-Smith knows first hand what it is like to parent children with special needs. After receiving her bachelor's degree from Tuskegee University and master's degree in Special Education from Auburn University, she has dedicated her life's work to children with disabilities. Telmeko has spent over twelve years teaching and working as an Early Interventionist with children who have disabilities. She has worked with all ages of children ranging from birth to college.

Smith and her husband John have also fostered several children who were severely medically fragile, one of which has become a permanent member of their family. Telmeko is the mother of four children, three of which have special needs. "The character Pumpkin Spice is a representation of three of my children combined. This book tells the story of their day to day life and all of the things they have to do to endure and overcome", says Smith. It is Telmeko's prayer that this series of books about Pumpkin Spice, a little lamb with special needs, will give her children and your children an opportunity to celebrate disabilities. Through Pumpkin's Eyes is the voice of children with disabilities. These children are saying, "I'm just a kid, and I want to play, have fun, and make new friends. So, don't be afraid of me. When you see me, come on over and say hello."

Visit website to support: http://www.pumpkinspice.org/

UPCOMING EVENTS

"Through Pumpkin's Eyes" Book Promotion Party and Book Signing:
Friday October 30, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Apex Museum 135 Auburn Avenue Atlanta, Ga 30303

RNY saved my LIFE…

My quest to beginning WLS is a topic that many face today. With a growing society becoming obese, our nation is faced with an abundance of health issues. My decision towards this path was pondered upon for many years. Sad to say, I was one of the people that thought badly about the procedure. Not that I thought it wasn’t necessary but I began to see many being approved for this surgery without pre-existing conditions. I guess I didn’t view a person at the height of 5’7 at 240-250 pounds obese. I thought for them it was the “easy” way out. After all, when you live in a society that says everyone should be a size 4 and your family is mainly built of plus- size people you don’t realize portions as most do. Nonetheless, I found myself contemplating gastric bypass.

After years of depression and self-loathing I packed on pounds that threatened my future and my ability to be an active mom. The only difference was, I wasn’t the slightly chubby 240lb woman. I stepped on the scale, heart racing in fear of the added pounds I knew I had gained. I was then looking at my heaviest weight ever which was a massive 383lbs. My quality of life at that time was non-existent. Even though my appearance on the outside never flawed. Rather, i bounced insecurely with flowing hair into corporate offices, or applied my makeup with precision, or wore clothes to accent the positive or unleashed a hence of arrogance towards the people around me; no one could notice that I was dying from the inside out. My false outer exterior couldn’t foul my increased cholesterol, rising blood pressure, strained muscles and bones, frequently recurring depression, and lack of energy to live life to the fullest.

I had to begin fighting for my survival. So when I made this life altering journey with eyes open, I don’t hesitate to say that this is the best path my life could have taken. After consultations with Doctors and multiple specialists I got questions answered about this major surgery. Fully aware of the complications that could happen and I clearly understood what daily life changes I would have to make in order for me to be successful.

I lay scared but hopeful as they wheeled me in the operating room. It was finally happening. My life was about to positively change and I was looking forward to the healthier more outgoing me. So as a 4 month post op patient I smile widely as I step on my elliptical to begin my 5 mile workout because I know that along with this surgery, my lifestyle changes and my courage is what gave me “my life” back. I’m 70+ pounds lighter, a mass stronger and loving my path to RNY.

Memories of Mom

The sky was the clearest shade of blue. Winds that smelled of fresh roses blew swiftly around us. This is the day that my daughter would take me to brunch and have a day filled with shopping adventures. Long days of bargain shopping were a ritual but this day would be remembered forever. I would put on the finest clothes, push my hair in an up-do, put on make up with perfection and pack my bag with goodies for my grandson.


My daughter was so proud that she's able to do pleasing things that would make me smile a mile wide. Our frequent calls to each other throughout the day kept us close and near to our hearts. Grandson would call to say, "I love you sweet cheeks". This was the name I was given as of a result of the many effects of taking prescribed medicines. My cheeks were so swollen that my daughter often said, "Anything that chunky must be sweet", therefore demeaning me "Sweet Cheeks".


The restaurant was filled with people. Ladies wore big yellow hats. Little girls spun with polka dot dresses. Men laced with tailored suits and shiny boots. Beautiful art hung from the walls with great precision. Chandeliers dangled from the ceiling and sparkled with every turn. My daughter was excited to see my piercing dimples that were brought on by my frozen smile. The drinks were served in Victorian style glasses. Deserts were covered in thick caramel and sprinkled with chocolate covered cherries. The jazz played softly as we ate. The piano, drums, saxophone, and horns filled the room with good entertainment.


We left the extravagant restaurant bellies full and charged for a day of shopping. As my daughter looked into my eyes I could only imagine how happy she was to share this day. She was glad to add just a little joy into my life that had tragically changed. This was our time to forget hardship and enjoy life. We shopped and closed the store down. Bags filled each arm and ranged in sizes; bright color bags with fancy shoes, little colored boxes with perfume bottles, and plastic bags that hung silk dresses with pretty little bows.


Who would have known that this would be the last day my daughter would share a laugh with me. That the same bag she carried hung the dress I would wear for eternity. She was proud, helpful, caring and always adoring of me. So when I look down upon her I see her smiling. She will always remember our last grand event and it would be treasured forever.

By: LaSha Dawson-Anderson
Copywritten 2006