Hiding No More.....

I've struggled for many years trying to finish my book. My college years brought pain, confusion and a complete misunderstanding of myself. So in order to confront my underlining issues I began to put pin to paper in hopes of providing self therapy. What I drafted was a real life tail of my battles of depression, years of molestation, teenage promiscuity and issues with having alcoholic parents. I wrote my pages so well I began to think, am I being too real? What will others think about my truthfulness? Will anyone get offended? How will people view me? I now understand that those were feelings of doubt and most


likely the devil blocking my determination to be a motivating vessel in the world. So I decided to transform what I wrote into a novel form. That way I could hide within the characters and not expose the vulnerable, shameful and crippling side of me. Isn't it easier to hide behind something than to be the real you? Kind of like having an alter ego and blaming everything that goes wrong on that character. Well my alter ego was built on self destruction. Understanding that my circumstances were not my fault would take years for me to realize. Most victims think they asked for the punishment and it just isn't so.

I noticed I struggled more with my autobiography turned novel more than I did with the original manuscript. So years have passed and sporadically I’d given time and energy in my goal but couldn't understand why this was such a struggle for me. And within recent weeks I’ve discovered the stalling is from not being true to myself and the others I wish to help. I've taken away the real essence of my book with a focus to share real life experiences no matter how graphic they are, they happened to me and happening to others all over the world.

It's like God has truly spoken to me, taking away my fear and doubts. I no longer have to hide behind my made up characters. He's giving me courage to be a motivating force to all kinds of people. We hinder ourselves from our own progression in life. Today I’m knowing my worth, challenging my fear and stepping out of my comfort zone. The best lesson I’ve learned is, I no longer have to hide and because of that, I’m free. It's amazing what the mind can do when it's open and receptive to God's message.

Please stay tuned to my upcoming book:
"Buffering the Pain: Life as a Touched Child"

By: LaSha Dawson-Anderson