The Helping Anchor...

 

Are you in anchor mode? Do you recognize yourself in being an "anchor" ship? By definition  and anchor is meant to make something or someone stay in one position by fastening him, her, or it firmly.
 Many people that go through issues, tragedies, depression or lostness will anchor themselves to SOMETHING (Drug/Alcohol) OR SOMEONE. The weight of the world in that individual is transferred so another object or person to provide; comfort, support, stability OR increase co-dependency. Their mostly likely tired of drifting aimlessly ALONE. That type of heaviness is overwhelming for the "attachment" (person) that's connected... this is why they are called ANCHOR.
We have to learn how and why we are in these ANCHOR ships. The worst of an ANCHOR ship is when depression or mental illness is present.  Imagine that ANCHOR "keeping" you, giving you what could be false happiness or relations of Joy .... then that ANCHOR is so tired of being weighed down because the true reality is; now that person the Anchor is stuck in the middle of their non-movement or non-progression along with the burden of being the happiness for someone else. THAT'S HEAVY!
Once the ANCHOR is at their limit, THEY RETREAT. Sometimes only coming around out of obligation. Now the other person has to deal with ALL the inner issues, battles and struggles ABANDONED (note:this is the reality that their mind recognizes; abandonment). Losing an ANCHOR could be fatal for many people.

Tips to set sail freely within...(Gotta start somewhere): 

- You have to recognize when your not mentally happy OR struggling to cope....and SPEAK

- When Life happens recognize when you're attaching to something or someone

- Learn to love yourself more so that you're healthier to and with those around you

- Use my R.A.C.E Method.. Reflect, Acknowledge, Change and Execute

(You can't comfort what your hiding)

How Anchoring shows in other ways:
- Going from one relationship to another without time to process, heal, and provide love to self.
- Codependent friendships even with family members
- Leaning on others or substance to cope in an unhealthy way
- When your most happy being present or under SOMEONE
- When your crossing boundaries in friendships (Over burdening) without personal changes.

For other inspirational articles and stories... Follow me at instagram.com/lashamariespeaks

For speaking request email: lashamariespeaks@gmail.com

#WomenofAudacity

ReplyForward

Author LaSha Marie's Epic 44th!!!

Weeks prior was the crescendo to my day. Thanks to everyone that came out, called, inboxed, supported me on my day including my vendors. I'm almost off my soap box lol. For those that missed the LIVE or just didn't want to listen to the entire thing. 44 was meaningful because my Mom didn't live past this age. She was wheelchair bound and on countless medications. The two (2) years prior she was in the ICU on a ventilator. I happened to find her as she was entering Heavens gates. She surrounded herself with ANGELS around her house (Figurines, Artwork and Prayer messages). I'm healthy with NO MEDS, Zero surgeries that wasn't elective and not chained to anything that can cripple me.. I leave you with this....

- Healing is a landing rock that feels like the best home EVER; SELF care is essential.

- You don't have to make others believe in your change/work on self to find your placing in life. Stop asking others for permission to SHINE!

- Do the work on self and listen to God's direction. Let others be dead wrong on their assumptions. Most are dealing with their own demons...WE ARE HUMAN BUT; DON'T LET OTHERS DRIP ON YOU!

- Never let anyone make you feel like you're the image of your parents dysfunction. You are Blessed & highly favored.

- Disappear without explanation. Sometimes you have to close doors to enter your quiet place with GOD.

- Depression and Anxiety can be your SUPERPOWER! Wear your cape proudly even when it's wrinkled.

My reassembly started in 2015 but I heard the calling a decade prior. When you come to a crossroads when the devil knows you're better, he will put everything in your way so that you will turn around. (That tricky rascal knows Gods greatness in YOU!) But my Faith wouldn't shake with each fall and the time I should've fell on my knees and cried; I heard his calm whisper say; I CREATED THIS STORM SO YOU WOULD MOVE!

I leaned deeply in my Career, gifts, passions as a distraction to get to my purpose. Share your vision, Share your voice, Share your story and I can help you MONETIZE $$$$$$ that skill/story. If your ready, if you're so moved I can be your Writing Coach, Therapy thru Penning or Personal & Professional Strategist; Someone is ready for their leveling.... schedule your DISCOVERY CALL WITH ME TODAY ...Copy or past OR Click the link👉 https://calendly.com/lashamariespeaks/30min?back=1&month=2020-08

#womenofaudacity #survivor #HRConsultant #thehealingpad #shareyourstory #GreatStorytellers #writingcoaching #personalgrowthcoach #CareerCoach #BookCollaboration #selfcare #SixFiguresBabes #GetOUTYOUROWNSHIT #womenofgod #HUMAN #VisionaryLeader

Credits:

Photography

J. Austin Anderson Photography

Cake

Mandy Isabel

of A Sweet Affair Confectioneries

Dress:

Paula Divinisity Mwenelupembe

of Feschene

Fedora: Piki Williams of Uniqueglamorboutique

Gift giveaway(s) Makers:

~ Pray, Meditate, Journal System by

Caneka Hardon

~

Denise McNair Batton

of Paparazzi

~ Dream Big Pillow Vision Board by

Women of Audacity

~ Ebook "It All Has a Root" Including my first story in my Book collaboration "The Secret That Gave Me Wings"

~ Book Collaboration by

Paula McDade

of @Brilliant Awakenings Anthology; "Beyond Murray Hill"

Special thanks to my AWESOME SON (He will cut you over ME lol), My Daughter that has taught me that JUDGING is not apart of God's plan and self identify. My FAMILY (AUNTS and UNCLES) that gave me a FOUNDATION to seeing what's possible and what can be obtained by BREAKING GENERATIONAL CURSES.

Mitchell Meshia

for being an assistant for the day, MY ENTIRE TEAM including

Shantae White - Gonzalez

of

410 Business Solutions LLC

for teaching, believing and leading with GOD first.

LaSha Marie; Founder of Women of Audacity, LLC
LaSha@womenofaudacity.com
Audacity Seekers Consulting, Inc.

"BE THE VINE"

Interviewing Made Easy: You're Hired!

It’s often said that finding a job is a job itself; whew, such an understatement. But the process can be seamless with directed strategies to calm your nerves so that you stay focused on the goal ahead. Even when you have went on more interviews than you can count, job interviewing never seems to get any easier. With each job interview, you are meeting new people, feeling individuals out and selling your skillset. Sometimes, you’re often left wondering, did I respond to that correctly? Or did I completely answerthe question that was asked? Staying upbeat and personable is the best energy to lead with.   This can be a challenge, especially when you're interviewing for a position that you’re genuinely interested in.

Relax, there’s help on the horizon. As a Talent Advisor and Consultant I've learned a few tricks and I'm here to share my knowledge. Though my Interviewing Strategies are personalized to each individual due to industry specific alignments there are a few basic best practices that are interchangeable within all career levels. Let’s be honest; my advice for a Software Engineer are different than my Service industry professionals. But you’d be surprised how unprepared many individuals are for interviews at all levels. 

So relax, here's some helpful Tips to calm your nerves.

Create a Stellar Resume or TWO!

• Post Resume on multiple sites; Indeed, LinkedIn, CareerBuilder, Monster and other industry specific sites...
• (Update often) REFRESH your resume to the top of the pile.
• Submit.Submit.Submit & APPLY. (In depth resume writing tips coming soon or inbox me to get ahead of the game)

Hot dog, we're getting calls! 📱📱

• The Prescreen & Vetting Process. The first call is imperative that your listening and able to respond so if it's not a good time advice them that you will call them back. This will also give you time to do your research on the position that you applied for and how to answer questions. Afterall, as a Recruiter this call rules out more than 70% of individuals. WOW, that's truth for you!

• Wooohooo!!! Interview scheduled. What's next! Research the position, print the JD (job description) as an reference, research the companies competitors. If the position list specific software experience that you have moderate knowledge on, refresh yourself so that you're conversational while speaking on it when the Manager ask. Please know that most companies will train you according to their specific training guidelines.

• Think about those behavioral based questions. Most companies use the S.T.A.R Method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) Basically giving them an example of how you resolved a situation, what did you do and what was the result of it. We will go more in-depth later around these questions. Usually they want to see how you handled a certain issue, customer complaint or convinced a hard to please client or Manager into trusting you.

• Prepare!!!!!!... Do we really need to discuss the obvious!!!! Map the location area, Print extra resumes, JD, arrive early and dress according...We all got that RIGHT? GEESH!!!!!!

Compensation Questions... Show me the money!

• Here's a fact. According to Policy and laws this questions save many of us. An interviewer can not ask you what you're currently making. However, they can ask you what your expected compensation is for your next opportunity. Why do we need full truth in this area? I suggest you ask them up front, what the range is for this position? This is a lengthy questions so we will discuss this in more detail later. NEVER LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE!
• More to come: Salary negotiations, Counter-offers (JUST RUN, nothing will change), Asking your worth, Cover Letters (Who needs them) & the on-boarding process.

Spotlight is on! Interview time...

- Sell your skillset. - Don't over talk or ramble. - Speak to the question that's being asked. - Remember the S.T.A.R Method. - Ask questions about the company and/or role, BE ENGAGED! - Ask what the ideal candidate looks like for this role. This is usually a wower... It also gives you a chance to highlight any other stand out qualities they've failed to mention or want to revisit. - Keep in mind... Reframe from bad talking current or past employers OR citing personal issues.

******Closing...You got this! 🤑💰🤑💸
- Show interest

- Thank them for the opportunity.

- Send a thank you email.

- Connect them on LinkedIn

Leave confident and re-assured.
You're HIRED!!!

These tips and more from your HR Expert and Talent Acquisition Advisor giving you the GREEN 🚦light to be AUDACIOUS in your walk!

- Author LaSha Marie

Each Day Keep Saying HELLO!

A new morning filled with possibilities should be a gift. Sun shining and birds chirping outside the window; those are all sounds of a day ready to be taken. I was told once, “seize the day and capture undiscovered blessings”. This is how most enthusiastically tackle each new day. Even on those rainy days some people welcome the peacefulness of hearing raindrops and that slight haze over the sky. If you’re like me, I have checklist or daily routines that become habit. Rise, bath, brush teeth, dress, get kids together all to dash out to the car to actually start the long day. Entering work spaces being greeted by welcoming Hello’s and Good Morning’s by co-workers. I have to admit, prior to working from home, I hated the daily good morning rants in the work place mainly because I just wanted to be invisible. I simply couldn’t understand why or how people was that damn peppy.

Those of us with depression or mental illness are faced with a different fate. Just as the change of the wind, we never know how each day will be. It’s almost like being trapped in your own head playing games to conquer each level. Sometimes that achievable moment is finding the energy to leave the bed. (Win for Shay, one foot out of the bed!) People with a mental illness or depression create strategies on these black days by recognizing triggers. We are the best “head” game players in the world. It’s a way to keep connected and somewhat sustaining throughout the day. These bouts can linger for days, weeks and even months in severe cases.

Mental Illness can control your life if the mind, body, spirit and environment are not conducive to positivity. For myself, it was imperative to firstly recognize that I was “in fact” depressed and face the underlining issues of it. This was the hardest because as I met my hurts, pains, regrets and childhood traumas the surface was cluttered. What I learned by comforting every aspect of my life:

~ You are not to blame; forgive yourself and others

~ Pain is to be healed NOT to keep one bound

~ Don’t hide in others. You will become co-dependant by looking for others to make you feel good

~ Over-giving of self. You give others for gratification. (The maybe they’ll love me more syndrome) 

~ Never be afraid to Fail. We are NOT perfect

~ It’s ok to say NO. Don’t overextend yourself so much that you become lost

~ Put you FIRST. Happiness is a self-selection

There are daily habits so that bleak days are farther in-between. This is the work after the “Comforting”. There were times my mind wouldn’t allow me to get out of bed. Days where I was completely happy floating on life then “Boom”, I wake up sun bright but my head recognizes the darkest gray. Your family would even learn your “good” and “bad” days. The question, “what’s wrong” was the most hated inquiry and my responses was always, Nothing and EVERYTHING! I know, enough to drive anyone bananas, right? The earth never had to shake for my mood to change abruptly. I just know that I simply didn’t want to deal with life. I needed a “reset”. I needed to find some way of balancing it all even on dark days. How did this shift start to manifest change for me?

~ I became more cautious of what entered my body

~ I ended friendships/relationships that were toxic. THIS WAS HUGE FOR ME

~ Create a hobby that relaxes you; I wrote till my soul glowed to LIVE

~ Change of environment… move, relocate or create some space for real reflection

~ Recognize what your triggers are. These are usually connections directly linked to you

~ I began to love me; flaws and all. I now owned all of my mistakes to help rebuild me

Depression and mental illness is a very real subject today. The numbers are increasing in suicides and in younger age ranges. It’s no surprise I haven’t mentioned “medication”. I’m an avid advocate for seeking professional help, some aren’t able to cope without prescription. I’m 3 years with no medication but there were times I just knew I needed that “stabilizer” but I then went back to these methods; just like going back to basics. I had to heal me “whole” inorder to fight days a little less and the work continues.

There is true freedom after an unchained mind.

"Tears Unseen, a Shout Unheard"

I had a neighbor and I often played with her daughter. I still recall the warmth and genuine care this women gave me. Her name was Beverly. So one day I decided to share a secret. Not for sure why this particular day, not sure why not a family member but at the age of 8 maybe almost 9, I decided to unsilence myself. I stood there, spilling my "daddies secret". I'll never forget that Beverly almost fainted when asking me questions for clarity. My heart was beating so fast while standing in her kitchen. I remember the motherly embrace she gave me before I walked out her door. She was devastated and I thought....maybe I could finally be free.

She called my Mother and I sat there watching tears run down her face... after days went by the neighbor called the school to report it. In the 80's, it was a very hush topic and I was given a way "out" while speaking to the school counselor. I just recall just wanting it all to end. I wished I could've taken it back. Through this ordeal, nothing changed at home other then I wasn't allowed to be alone with my step-father that I'd known since the age of 2. I went everywhere my mom went but ofcourse things went back to normal. And though his family knew (his Mom and brothers) from him venting, it then opened up doors for his brother to start preying on me on my visits to their house...My Mother's family never knew and I was discouraged to share my truth again until I was in my 2nd year at Alabama State University and experienced my 1st major breakdown.

I suppressed images of the good times from my childhood, whole life-frames were erased from my memory. It was a way to cope, a way to be something I wasn't; HAPPY!

Then comes JOY! Follow me and help me inspire a nation. 

#EndChildAbuse #SufferNoMore  #SexualAbuseMustEnd #Speakup #NotYourFault #MyStory #TruTestimony #AuthorLaShaMarie

Reveal & Release Your Stains!

I recall walking in the store and purchasing the most beautiful rug; It hung there vibrant and filled with color….to me it was perfect. But as most worldly things over time the color faded and STAINS appeared. Normal wear and tear, right? No matter how many times I tried to scrub the spots hoping to wash away the STAIN it still remained; yet faint but very prevalent in my eyes. To the outsider they may look at the rug and unlike me, they will see a rug filled with brilliance. They didn’t notice that through the years this rug has been ran over, walked on, trotted through and even drenched with different particles of life. But because this rug is so perfect to my heart I refuse to throw it away; sometimes I even tucked it under tables to disguise it’s tethered appearance.

We hold these same principles in our daily lives. As we enter the world we are sheltered, innocent, unflawed and UN-STAINED. Remember that feeling as a young child with bright ideas with a carefree mind; those times felt amazing. But as we grow in an earthly existence we learn that innocence is lost and life evolves and changes in time. Through those changing times we are affected by our STAINS. Rather it’s substance abuse, weight issues, low self-esteem, rape, divorce and many other life occurrences. All these issues leave STAINS upon us and many try to hide them; scrubbing away the pain and guilt by trying to bury all the STAINS under superficial things, objects  items and people.

For a while I didn’t know what to make of my STAINS, so I created a false security of myself. I even buried some of them hoping they wouldn’t fully surface. Just as that rug, once we think we have cleaned one stain, sure enough another one appears; so we become creative in decorating to be less obvious. After all; STAINS are looked at as bad, tarnished, used. Who in the world wants to show that to the world? Each STAIN is your representative on how you view your life. Most likely at first we walk around upset, face frowned, disgusted at something so embarrassing and disgusting. We are so distraught that we push away people we love in fear of them discovering the STAINS.

Then one day, if we are lucky enough not to let the STAINS destroy us totally, we confront them. What gives us the power to finally face all the damages of life?...... Our need to be more than our stains; you start to want the "abundance" of life.  And for me it was my relationship with God!!! Once we seek guidance in him (God/Spirituality) to help us Reveal and Release Our STAINS, is the only way we can truly accept and move on to a more glorified YOU. Now he doesn’t promise to erase these STAINS, those are life lessons; badges of tribulations. And in order to seek betterment in life we have to face some true facts first. Your relationship with God allows you to live with these STAINS at the surface, instead of burying them along with yourself in the process.

Think of your vessel and your relationship with God as a scotch guarded rug. That protectant is your Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. And as long as we are renewing our spirit consistently with him…he protects us even when we are approached with life’s spills; Jobloss (he protects us), Depressions (he protects us), Lusting (he protects us), Alcoholism (he protects us)….Anything that can tarnish our image made of him, he will protect us; as long as we’re seeking him first. But sure enough as the world is filled with SIN we will stray; allowing ourselves to become vulnerable, thus having more STAINS; then we’re back on our knees asking for direction and coverage to get through. God responds; that was your lesson to walk with me as your everlasting protector.

I’m now able to walk brilliantly with all my STAINS. Just as proud and SHINING to the world. I’ve learned that the STAINS didn't define me because there not within the fibers that created me. I certainly couldn’t walk through life inspiring, encouraging, uplifting others without his shelter and faith in me to overcome. He loved me enough to help “Reveal & Release my STAINS” and he can do the same for you. SHINE Through It All!!!!


"He doesn't need your open hand for his shelter; he just needs
the open mind that's receptive of his works"


www.shinethroughitall.com
New Book: “The Secret that Gave Me Wings”

Email: lashamariespeaks@gmail.com

By: LaSha Marie

"An Average American"

 I really wish I understood all the laws, locally, state, government or otherwise. Politics intrigue me but I could learn more. Different parties and their standings, the parties impartialness to world issues on poverty, education, hunger, immigration and international wars. We all want to gain knowledge on stocks and bonds, hedge funds and selling as the NSE looks profitable. 

I guess I'm too average of an American because i can't seem to think or wrap my head around complex processes meant not to help us average folks but instead keep us just below a drowning status... I'm sorry I can't get a blinking heart over misappropriation of information. 

I am American. An Average American.

I can't wrap my head around the CIA, FBI, NSA, DEA, how can I understand the intelligence when intelligence aren't meant to uplift our people. When our sons are being killed or lost in jail systems. Our education quality are based on class levels.. I'm sorry I'm the average American.

I can't think about tapped phones and emails being compromised... When my son is being profiled just for the color of his skin. Can we focus on how sex trafficking exist here in the USA and how a nickel bag of trees give more time to rapist. 

Let's focus that kids walk through war zones just to get to school... That the middle class still struggles with day to day living rather then investing... Family systems are hurting and teenage pregnancies are a result of increased promiscuity. That suicide is on the rise across all social systems and people are hurting and crying for help with screams not being heard. Kids are being abused and molested with a battling of a recovery. Our street are riddled with drugs, alcohol and brand labels that add no value....

I'm sorry I'm just an average American so maybe I can't be intelligent about all these intelligence systems... Cause we have yet to tackle the basic human rights for our people. 

Copyright 2015 ©

By: LaSha Anderson, Founder SHINEgirls Atlanta

Also find us on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Shinegirlsatl